Desperate measures

Woke to the usual fug this morning with the added bonus of serious backache. Buy one serious illness, get several side issues free. Swallow some of my Mum’s left over hardcore painkillers and they kick in twenty minutes later, so I like to think I wouldn’t now be mistaken for the hunchback of Notre Dame.

I cancel meeting for the afternoon and am tempted to go back to bed and wallow. But I’ve had this backache before and know that movement is the key to gradual improvement. Once got stuck in my car with similar backache, could open the door but couldn’t get out. Took ages to winch myself out, choice expletives by the shedload.

While we’re reviewing past painful experiences, I once dislocated my shoulder while playing badminton in the middle of nowhere in France. Got a friend to put it back for me. It happened again a week later when I was alone in the house, with a hospital a two hour drive away. Gritted my teeth and put it back myself. Choice expletives in French that time.

Today desperate measures are called for if I’m to survive the day. Coffee with a friend later will help. But something more radical needed. I book myself a few days in a luxury hotel on the coast in my favourite part of the English world. Very extravagant, but the lovely booking lady manages to find a way to knock three hundred quid off the price of my stay.

A fellow backache sufferer perhaps?



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