Made it to Church this morning after several weeks, either too ill or not enough energy to get there by 10.30. Felt good to be in a community I’ve worshipped in for decades and lots of people came up to me to say hello and some version of the dreaded, ‘you’re looking well.’ One person even asked if I’d been away to a spa. Difficult to remember that this comes from a place of kindness, makes me fast forward straight to grumpy. The best I could do today was to say that I’d been having a lot of sleep.
However well-intentioned, being told you are looking well by people who know how ill you are should be illegal. I know they need to say something, but almost anything would be better than this – it takes away all agency, hints that you’re looking so well that maybe you’re not as ill as you’re making out (I know this is madness, but that’s how it feels).
Or why not just ask me how I’m feeling rather than telling me? One good friend has taken to saying, ‘you’re looking…..rested’ neatly avoiding the well trap. It should only be said ironically (as when another formerly seriously ill friend and I greet each other and then laugh like drains).
But enough ranting, it has been a very companiable weekend; a long catch-up over cake and coffee with my goddaughter, Church and lunch today with my nephew and his new (and very lovely) girlfriend, a Skype to Mum and dinner this evening with one of my oldest friends.
The week ahead is just busy enough and for once I’m not dreading Monday (whisper it very quietly). I started doing my knee exercises yesterday and was very stiff today, but know that in the long run they will make all the difference and with any luck I’ll be able to get rid of my stick. Long haul though and I mustn’t fall into the competitive trap. Just a few exercises several times a day to build up strength and more walking.
I have a new pile of books to read, life is bearable.